What is my perfect crime?
I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless.
As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her fathers business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night.
In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold.
30 years later, I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the chief of the Police. This is where the story gets interesting - I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years, shes never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stash the chandelier.

-- Dwight Schrute